The Life of a Private Investigator!

David and Goliath have come to court here in Multnomah County

I know all to well the great lengths an organization will go to keeping secrets but I must say I am still always hoping to see an organization do the right thing.  Sitting in the courtroom watching opening statements in the sex abuse case against the Boys Scouts of America I witnessed another example of corruption and cover-up. I am sure that sounds harsh but when it comes to our children I believe the duty to protect them from a sex offender should be the number one priority, not the protection of its own reputation. The scouts have over 1000 files documenting a decade of problems with sex abuse from all around the country that they have kept secret.  Why?  The attorney for the scouts said it was because the files were "were replete with confidential information."  This information is confidential? Who do these people think they are.  This information should have been turned over to the police.  

So what we have here is a big organization with lots of money trying to cover up a crime and we have a lone victim trying to bring the secrets out.  Reminds me of  David and Goliath. Goliath is an intimidating and powerful force, much like the boy scouts. David  faced down Goliath and won. I commend the  man in this lawsuit for taking this case all the way to the courtroom.  The public needs to know what he has been through. The public needs to know that the Scouts did not protect him from a known child molester.  I commend the attorney, Kelly Clark for taking on the Boys Scouts of America. I know this is not an easy task, I know how much easier it would have been to settle this case out of court.  This is an example of courageous action in the face of tremendous fear.

http://www.oregonlive.com/news/oregonian/susan_nielsen/index.ssf/2010/03/boy_scouts_on_trial_its_painfu.html

Sex Abuse Trial in Oregon

This is a case I have been involved with since it came out in 2006. Check out this link.

Kelly Clark stands up for the victims

Here we go again the Pope protects another child molester

I come from a humble catholic upbringing. I was taught that the Pope was perfect. In fact, he was the closest thing to god himself according to the church. So imagine what a shocking revelation for me to learn that the Pope is a man just like all mankind. That his entrance into heaven has the same requirements mine have.  He needs food, water and rest just like I do. He worked hard to be where he is today just like I am. What makes him different is he is a leader and he can make a difference in the world I live in. He has direct control over the priests under him. Because of the power the Pope and The Roman Catholic Church hold leaders from all over the world seek his counsel. Yet here they are in the news again because of another pedophile priest.

How long has the Roman Catholic Church been aware of the sex abuse problem, to long. How many more times will we hear in the news about another coverup.  When will the new leadership of the Roman Catholic Church come forward and say enough is enough.  Why did the Pope protect, conceal, and deny any wrong doing of another Priest? 

http://www.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/europe/03/15/vatican.priests.sexual.abuse/index.html?hpt=T1

http://www.slate.com/id/2247861/. 

Did I see that proverbial brick wall coming?

Do you ever feel like your going 100 miles per hour and boom you can't go anymore?  Sometimes that happens to me but this last week I might have crashed into that brick wall harder than usual.  "Sex abuse, rape, assault, sex crimes, child abuse, human trafficking, PTSD, drug addiction and more." These terms bombard me every single day when I walk from my kitchen to my office with that first cup of coffee. Don't get me wrong I love what I do but occasionally I feel like I have failed to make a difference.  I feel like somehow I am not helping in this uphill battle.  I heard myself saying more than once last week  "it feels like I am pushing mud up hill with no end in site.  Boo hoo poor me.

I started googling burn out and all those terms with the hopes of finding some small flash of inspiration to get me back on track. Nothing really spoke to me. So what I did instead was take this as a sign to re-organize, prioritize and tackle the projects sitting on my desk, one thing at a time. I mean even the act of putting a stamp on an envelope I considered an accomplishment. So what I took away from my most recent encounter with the brick wall is 1) try to see the road signs before I get there and/or 2) Get up and start tearing the wall down one brick at a time.

Do you know what to do or say when a friend or family member talks to you about thier abuse?

What survivors want you to know...

• We often take a lot of responsibility for the abuse. Telling us it is not our fault may help to lessen the guilt of shame, but it can't take it away.
• We deal with a lot of shame. Please don't shame a survivor. It is the pattern we are trying to break.
• The healing process for a survivor may take years. We may be in and out of therapy several times. New memories may surface, and new experiences may trigger us.
• People who are survivors are often caretakers. It is a survival technique. It takes a long time to unlearn that behavior.
• Survivors often resent being judged. We have judged and punished ourselves for years. We are usually harder on ourselves that anyone else can be.
• People who are survivors don't want your pity.
• Don't try to excuse the abuser's behavior.
• Don't categorize survivors. Each case of abuse, although it may be similar, is a unique case. We don't all follow the same pattern of healing or behavior.
• Not all survivors have clear images of the abuse or assault. We may need to deal with that lack of memories on a regular basis.
• Even if we are safe now, we still may be fearful of our attacker or abuser.
• Talking about it means "breaking the secret." Many of us are faced with the terror "breaking the secret" every time we talk about the abuse.
• If a survivor chooses to talk to you about the abuse or assault, and you are uncomfortable about it, please say so. Let the survivor know you aren't uncomfortable with them, only the issue. The offer to find someone who is comfortable with the issue.
• Please don't ask a survivor to forgive and forget. First of all, there is nothing we would rather do than be able to forget. But we can't--we have to learn how to deal with it.
• Please don't ask a survivor if they are done dealing with it yet. That is a shaming question. The process of healing may take an entire lifetime.

adapted from the Minnesota Coalition Against Sexual Assault

"She must be a very troubled girl...."

 I read the above statement in the newspaper regarding a local rape. The community is standing behind the rapist but what about the victim.

"Fact: The incidence of false reporting of rape is about 2 percent. This is about the same as that for false reporting of other felonies (Department of Social Services). Survivors of sexual assault are often traumatized again when they report the assault or rape since the process of making a police report itself can be very difficult. This re-victimization makes the likelihood of false reporting very minimal. It is far more likely that rape is very under-reported. Some experts estimate that only 1 in 10 rapes are ever reported."

http://www.ksu.edu/counseling/csweb/topics/relationships/rape

Rape Statistics

Not a very pleasant topic I know but an important topic.  I am working on a rape case in the civil courts-what an eye opening experience.  I have heard more negative comments regarding the victim over the past week. Does society need to be reminded that rape happens everyday in this country. It could be your Mother, Sister, Best Friend, Neighbor or Co-worker; I can guarantee you would be outraged if it was someone you know. My next several blog posts will be devoted to this topic. If you have a story you want to share please send it to me.

Please see the link with statistics it is startling.

http://oak.cats.ohiou.edu/~ad361896/anne/cease/rapestatisticspage.html